I have been thinking about this date for months now, one year ago this reality started. What was a normal morning turned into fear and so many questions by the afternoon. On November 1st, 2014 Reed woke from his nap not able to bear a lot of weight on his right leg, when he tried to walk he would turn his foot in and then fall. He didn't appear to be in pain but did appear to be frustrated and was fussy. A trip into urgent care brought no real answers but a follow-up to a Orthopedic brought what we thought were finally answers a crack in the knee is what the doctor thought he saw but wasn't 100% so we decided to put a cast on Reed and wait two weeks to see if that helped. It didn't and probably made his ability to walk worse. Slowly we saw small signs of his ability to walk again come back but never gained back the full ability so our search for answers continued several x-rays later still brought no answers and blood work draws twice showed no infection. So after almost 4 months we headed down to Iowa City for an MRI and received the news that now shapes our lives. Reed has Leukodystrophy. That moment will be burned in my mind, if I could draw I could draw the room we were in, I could describe the moods in the room I could tell you where everyone was sitting or standing. That moment will never leave me. The last year has brought a lot of hurt in our family, a lot of questions, a lot of why but we have also been shown a lot of love and support. You learn to live for each day to live to not take things for guaranteed, we have learned to love each other deeper, we have learned who and what are important in our lives. Our daily prayers have changed our hopes and dreams for our son have changed. We pray for a miracle, we pray for mercy on Reed's life, we pray for time more time, we pray for the doctors and researcher around the world that God will open their eyes and minds to an answer. We pray that we are being heard, we fear we are not. We have emotions we don't want to have, unrelatable, jealousy, sadness, frustration, fear he is missing out. Many times as we pray with and over Reed at bed time we feel unheard we feel like yelling at God to please just show us he is in control, but we know he hears us and we know this is our test, we know he has a plan, we know he is hold on to Reed harder then we ever could. We trust that God has Reed in his arms, we give Reed to the Lord because what else can we do what other calm can we find. Deep down in my heart I just have a feeling that I know a treatment/a cure will be found in Reed's time, I am learn patience, in God's time not mine.
But...Reed is doing great, his disease has shown no big signs since last November. His speech is making huge strides. He is happy and a crazy little boy, he loves deep and is our hearts. He is so smart he may not be able to get around like he wants to and may not be able to express his words just right yet but he catches on so quickly and he remembers things that just amaze us. We trust this plan even if it ins't our plan, we live to conquer the day that is facing us and nothing further.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself, each day has enough troubles of it's own.
Matthew 6:34
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